Mock Tuna Salad is Easy

Mock Tuna Salad
Serves 4

This recipe and variations of it are posted all over the internet.

Blend/mix these ingredients for the salad:
3 cups soaked raw sunflower seeds (2-4 hours soaked in water) [I soaked for 3]
3 to 4 stalks celery, diced
1/2 bunch scallions, diced [I used 1/2 cup of alfalfa and onion sprouts]
2 tbps. dulse flakes
1/4 cup dill [I used parsley]

This is the dressing you're supposed to make:
1 1/2 cups Thai coconut water
1 clove of garlic, peeled
1 cup fresh lemon juice
1 tbsp. sea salt
2 1/2 cups raw macadamia nuts, or cashews, or pine nuts
1/2 cup stone ground mustard

I didn't make the dressing for two reasons:

1. didn't have coconut water / ground mustard / sea salt
2. a million nuts in one meal?!

So after chopping up all my soaked sunflower seeds and other salad ingredients in the overflowing vita-mix on variable speed and making a mess, I emptied that mixture into a plastic container. Next, I poured a cup of lemon juice into the empty blender, turned it on high for a few seconds to clean out the sunflower pate that was stuck inside, and poured that foamy liquid onto my mock tuna. I mixed the whole thing with a fork until the alchemy was done and all that was left in the container was *gasp* a big pile of tuna(-looking sunflower mush).

I put that in the fridge for a couple of hours to let sit and become tasty while I pretended to do work.

Dinnertime! I plopped some mock tuna salad on my lettuce mix salad and chopped up some tomatoes, avocado and carrots to distract and detract somewhat successfully from the sunflower taste. Avocado makes everything taste good. I know, I really should follow the recipe until I'm a pro.

Thinking of adding some dry mustard, scallions and something magical (I don't know what) to the rest of the huge batch of this that is sitting in the fridge....

In other news: All afternoon I've been hearing unfamiliar popping noises (as opposed to the usual ones) coming from the other corner of my desk. There isn't anything over there that should be moving around... so I went to investigate... and... the sounds are coming from my growing chickpeas as they push against each other while sprouting tails in a glass jar. Neat.