Clean of Pretense

Went to bed at 5:30am and awoke at 11am-ish. Made a smoothie (banana-strawberry-dandelion-grapefruit-water) and did my laundry. Cleaned out the bathroom with a scrub brush and baking soda. Went into the kitchen to wash the floors (I was in action & cleaning mode -- when I've been awake all night I instinctively begin ordering my environment to feel in control of myself, hah), and noticed that my attentive roommate had offered a token of goodwill on the table: three chewy chocolate chip cookies. Immediately, I fell to my knees and prayed for strength. No; I scrubbed the kitchen floors with vigour. I also got a lot of other work done today. Sublimation of the urge to eat cookies makes me productive.

A new smoothie: banana-orange-kale-broccoli-cayenne. Um... it's interesting. The amount of cayenne I dumped into the blender gives the word its italics.


I'm being dramatic about the cookies. I didn't want them that badly. Which is why I ended up eating the cookies for dinner as a reward for how well I'd done today. Fine -- cookies aren't really a reward, per se; more like tasty little trojan horses... but I think that that awareness must count for something. And then I think of my teacher, smugly posing this little gem: "If you know and don't do, how is that any different from not knowing?" To which I would give a quizzical look and relax my arm lest I participate in a stone-throwing contest in a village of glass houses.

[This is oddly normal. Just now I switched browser tabs and the following were the first words my eyes settled upon: "Knowing is not enough; We must apply. Willing is not enough; We must do." - Goethe. Preaching is fun and not at all annoying but only when I get to do the preaching.]

Aaaaandddd out!

Oh, thought I'd mention that the cookie/sugar high lasted a really long time but now I have a tad of a headache. Lesson learned. Learnings noted for future reference. Drinking lots of water.